no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
