Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
