idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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