What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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