ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
