haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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