I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
