Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
