I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
