At least make sure they are 18
Why
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize