so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
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i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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