I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
