Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
