Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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