glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
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There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
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Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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