I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
