well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm always down for nudity.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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