fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
organizing the empties. That sober.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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