i always forget guys have bellybuttons
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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