i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
