Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You're like the curious george of whores
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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