ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
