I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
