Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
