She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I want you more than these girls want KFC
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
