i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
