69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize