Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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