I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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