Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's never too late to be topless.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
