who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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