if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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