He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
