do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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