I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
