Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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