What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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