every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
