So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
