Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
