The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize