I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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