Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Less talking, more tequila
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
