My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
