im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Bring me that man meat
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
