Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The power of my boobs compel you
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
