apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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