I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I could make wine with my vomit
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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