I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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