her vagine was all disorganized.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
