Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
her facebook's as public as her vagina
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As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
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I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize