Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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