Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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