i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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