i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
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Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
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All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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