We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this just has baby written all over it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
