It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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